Thanks for the helpful and supportive comments on the last post. I hope I didn't give the impression of being overly hard on myself. Trust me, that's the opposite of true. Having the objective observer video + slow motion allowed me to see the reality of our rides rather than the happy place memories I've been relying on. It's all good. ;D
(If anyone knows why sometimes iphone video sometimes uploads full screen and sometimes not - please share!)
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That was then...
This is now...