In the Arena # 124 - Redemption song....

An almost perfect Saturday. I could have used about three more hours squeezed in - (my most recent to do list is outrageous) but I'll take it. After feeding, walking and cleaning up after all the other residents of Edgewood Farm while savoring a tasty iced cappucino, I hitched up Orange Crush for our weekly mowing session.

We were soon interrupted by a visitor, one of my landscaping clients, who dropped by to pick up a load of Val's Super Dirt (composted manure). After a quick tour and filling his buckets, we chatted. I thought that the clouds of mosquitos would keep the conversation brief...

It turns out that my client was very well placed in the banking world before his semi-retirement. If his palatial beach "cottage" is any indication, this is true. He gave me lots of encouragement about my plans for the property, and offered to be a resource to help find financing when it comes time to build my house. This will be a fair exchange for my continued never ending consulting on his landscaping, (consulting is when people get my work for free) so the numerous bites were worth it. Who'd have thought horse manure would have anything to do with high finance?

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Once the grounds keeping chores were completed, I threw Val a few flakes of his new hay. I gave up on forcing him to eat the last bales of this winter's hay. For a week now he's pushed it around, stomped on it and yesterday dropped a pile and peed on it. I got the hint. With him munching in his stall, I dragged the ring.

Apprehension built as I rode around. I try always to have a positive attitude, but falling off the other day just sucked. I had, after a long time, gotten to the point that I was excited to ride again. I looked forward to it. Ending our sessions was disappointing - I wanted to just keep on riding. We were finally working on the canter for heavens sake. My fall set me back six months confidence-wise.

By now it was hot enough and I was sweaty enough to make pulling on my breeches challenging. As I groomed and tacked up, I focused on my breathing, as well being a stickler for Val staying put. At first I had to physically touch him, but as we moved along all it took was a step towards him to make the correction. My experience has been that Val starts out with small tests of my leadership. If I let those go, it escalates under saddle. Things go more smoothly when I patiently correct him, as many times as is necessary, on the ground.

We worked on the buckle for quite a while. Forward seemed to have gone out the window. We had to do lots of transitions to get Val moving off my leg at all. It's likely that I may have been asking for forward with my aids, but saying not forward with my posture.

I could feel the negative impact the fall had on my body, as it took forever before my whole seat was down in the saddle, not perching. I used to think that perching was more like being in two point... your butt physically out of contact with the saddle. Yesterday I (finally) realized that you can perch with your seatbones and pubic bone too, while technically being on the saddle. If your butt muscles aren't relaxed, it's not possible for your "triangle" to be in contact. My not being on my seat is the main reason I fell off.

The revelations about seatbones continued. While focusing on maintaining outside rein contact through the turns, I zoned in on the outside seatbone as well. Our turns were better balanced and deeper when I really felt my outside seatbone. I'm not sure if this meant that both seatbones were finally equal, or if more weight was on the outside, but the results were good.

Now on to the main event. We got our act together enough, that I decided to ask for the trot. In out most recent rides since working on the canter, I've been getting canter departs when asking for the trot. This is exactly what we were working on when I fell off last week. My first ask resulted in the canter. I let it go a few strides, and returned to the walk. I made sure I was not holding my breath, not anticipating cantering, and asked again - this time with very little aid - instead visualizing the tempo and feel of the trot. Voila! Perfect relaxed trot transition.

Kate at A Year with Horses has been such an inspiration to me. Her thorough and honest assessments of her riding never fail to resonate. Lately she has been posting about softness, bracing, and how the quality of aiding can either lead to softness, or result in bracing.

Struggling with the trot transitions yesterday helped me realize I had been way over aiding, because when I just literally thought the trot - no leg, no voice and no whip - I got the most beautiful soft transition. I'm sure now that my over aiding + perching + bracing resulted in Val being confused about what I was asking of him lately... "When she gets all bent out of shape like this - I'm supposed to canter!"

I hugged my horse, told him what a gooooood boy he is, and ended the ride there, on a very positive note.

preferable to working...

also preferable to working...

In the Arena # 123 - Getting my head around it... At the Farmette # 8 - No rest for the weary...

There have been two rides since my less than elegant dismount last week. The bumps and bruises have healed, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel some trepidation when mounting up again.

I threw on the bareback pad a few days later for the first ride. Val wasn't particularly calm. I reckon I wasn't either - surprise! Nonetheless, it was a decent ride. One little scoot, and then things went smoothly. I focused on sitting deeply, in my horse.

The next evening, after doing some effective ground work, I impulsively led Val over to the mounting block and hopped on, sans tack. I'm lucky Val is relatively comfortable even without a pad. No shark fin withers on my boy, so no wither wedgie. We motored around the arena, relying on legs and seat only. An un-pulled mane comes in handy sometimes. It was a divine ride. I felt close to my horse, physically and mentally.

The plan is to do a real schooling ride this weekend. Tacked up, and revisiting the trot / canter transitions with equanimity, and intention. After processing what happened leading up to my fall, I believe the issue was me being thrown (no pun intended) by sticky transitions, becoming frustrated and most importantly getting off of my seat. When the shenanigans started I was already unbalanced. A good but hard lesson to learn.

The rest of my week centered around the weather and the garden.

There have been the most intense skies happening along with the numerous thunderstorms lately... thankfully, as we were getting a little drought-ish in April. Seems like we may be returning to a more normal pattern of late afternoon and evening thunderstorms relieving the excess moisture and energy built up in the atmosphere. A dicey pattern when ventilating your home depends on crank up vents on the roof...

In the gardens, weeding and picking off pests is a never ending process. One benefit to the early spring and moving my beds around, the tomato / tobacco hornworm caterpillars have struck out. Suckahs! Also, I found a newly hatched hornworm moth, wings not even pumped up yet, which was promptly relocated.

The hose came in handy to jet away aphids attacking my (delicious) sugar snaps. The radishes are harvested. Note to self - next time succession planting would be a good idea. My carrots are coming up nicely. I experimented with transplanting some of the thinnings - supposedly not possible to do. We shall see.

The mighty Kubota spent the weekend again, so I was able to turn all the manure piles. The new bed is going gangbusters. Thank you Val for making some awesome dirt. I swear you can (almost) watch the tomato plants growing. I have been saving those plastic-y feed bags, with the plan of bagging up composted manure for sale next year. I thought I'd turn them inside out, leaving a clear space to put some kind of logo label.

Enjoy some photo spam...

 

 

wee little carrots

no one needs this many radishes

this kind of cloud formation (wall cloud) usually makes water spouts...

isn't he lovely...

In the Arena #93 - And then rainbows came flying out of our -----

After a brief cool down, we were blessed with another week of unseasonable delightful warmth and sun. Yesterday was likely the end. For real this time.

I cleared my schedule by early afternoon, and got Val ready for our ride. The horses were surprisingly calm considering that tree trimming guys spent half the day clearing my property around the electric lines with power tools, and then disposing of the cuttings in a giant, deafening wood chipper...

Cat crossing property nowhere near arena = horse eating monster
Wood chipper screaming and whining next to arena - not so much...

I recently have been experimenting with reintroducing some on the buckle warm-up work before we move on to the trot - 'cause I'm stubborn like that. Apparently yesterday I crossed the line into tediousness, and Val acted up... refusing to listen to my aids and getting super choosy about where he wanted to work. After a bunch of head tossing, a spin and getting bucky with it, I gave him a stern "NO" and a little smack with my dressage whip. Instant attitude adjustment. It was so awesome! :)

Believe me, I have traveled a long road leading to the point where I can reprimand my horse and feel okay about it. Too often in the past, I let Val get away with this type of behavior. I made excuses for him, and ultimately I was afraid. Afraid of how he would react, and afraid I would lose my cool.

His tack fits, his teeth are good, he's not in pain. He tests my resolve because he can... because I let him get away with it for so long - ie I trained him to do it... because I can be inconsistent and inaccurate with my aiding... because he's smart and easily bored... and because he's conservative with his energy pretty lazy sometimes.

The best thing is that the confidence I got from giving that correction, letting it go immediately and moving forward, will likely help keep me in the frame of mind that heads off this type of situation in the future. Sometimes a little spanking is a good thing...

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So on to our ride, post correction. Simply our best yet. We got on the bit quickly, with Val carrying himself so nicely that I could have sat the trot all day - which I didn't, as my posting is coming along but still needs lots of work so I can get to where I don't have to think about it every stride. Besides, sitting the trot right now feels like a sinfully delicious treat, one that I'm not sure I've quite earned yet, or maybe might contain too many calories...

We also did some serpentines, baby leg yields and rode deep into our corners. I focused on using my core, especially for downwards transitions, as well as making sure I banish piano hands, and aiding from my elbows, which stay at my sides. There was some big marching walk after the trot work, and tantrum free on the buckle work as well. We finished up as a cold rain started falling... winter's calling card.

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I miss lessons with my trainer... besides the info and supervision, I miss the barn time, companionship and watching lessons with people who are as obsessed with dressage as I am. Nonetheless we are making progress. And ironically this break from instruction is the reason. I have had to accept responsibility for our training.  I stepped up, took responsibility, and found out I'm plenty capable. At least, I'm not going to ruin my horse. Total surprise to me. 

Now I'm contemplating the canter - stay tuned...

In the Arena # 88 - Do we think we're better riders than we are?... Are we better riders than we think we are?

 Confidence

• a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances
• faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
• the quality or state of being certain

It's been a long time since I was a confident rider. As a kid, I was supremely confident for my first half dozen lessons. Heck - I was jumping by my third lesson. (?!) Then - surprise surprise - there was a bolt and fall where I got knocked out and dragged around the ring a few times. Things have never been the same. Fast forward...

Val and I had our best ride ever this weekend. We totally got into a groove. I think I coordinated my aids more effectively, concentrated on my position, and approached having soft following hands. Our 15m circles that were round and fairly balanced. We did bunches of smooth figure eights. We rode deeply into our corners. And best of all, Val reached for contact, (hallelujah!) without me doing anything except being there for him, consistently. It felt effortless. I spent the ride laughing and thanking my horse with lots of pats on the neck, and he motored around snorting and blowing contentedly. Afterwords, while I cleaned tack, he groomed me top to bottom, both sides.

"Hello - this is how I'm supposed to feel when I ride!". Not apprehensive, not anxious, not slightly nauseated. Please don't get me wrong - Val is not the kind of horse to be afraid of. He's so sweet and easy going. I've felt these feelings ever since I started back riding again. And I've had plenty of enjoyable and positive rides with him, but we've also spent entire sessions battling about who the boss is, or more importantly, why does she have to be so uptight?! Being un-confident and a perfectionist is a stressful combination...

I'm not quite sure what to attribute this progress to - we haven't had lessons in forever, but we've been moving steadily forward in the last few weeks. I can't offer any explanations, wise words or suggestions. But I'm psyched. I'll take it - and more of the same please!

one of my favorite things

less pictures - more cookies

told you I worked hard

so where's my cookies?!

check my new kicks

these puppies have some serious velcro

kisses go here

In the Arena #49 - chase one's tail - To run in circles, to chase one's own shadow

future header pic

This morning started off cold and cloudy, but by the time I finished up at work, there was bright sunshine, the wind had fallen out to nothing and temps were on the rise. Hope that doesn't seem like bragging - I know that many of my blogging friends are in the midst of or getting ready for some epic winter weather. Please stay safe!

I headed up to the barn, feeling not a little bit conflicted about the decision. Basically, there is a ton of work I really need to be doing... my bedroom is halfway rearranged (as in can't use the bed until arrangement is finished), my studio is an absolute explosion of paperwork, taxes are on the horizon (see explosion of paperwork in studio)... don't even mention moving the manure pile at the farmette, which has been on my list of to do's for months. So - I went riding instead. ;)

Val was out cold in a sunny spot when I arrived, bottom lip dangling down in the dirt. (so darn cute!) I did a few chores while he took his time waking up, mostly because I was thinking about a recent post from Billie at camera obscura - "wise words for living and working with horses". She discussed how (patiently) engaging with your horse is more respectful, kinder, and will help to develop the trusting relationship we all want with our horses. She really made me think about all the times I've come to the barn preoccupied, in a bit of a hurry, probably rushing Val around so I could keep up with my schedule. Pretty rude when you think about it. After a lingering grooming in the warm sunshine, we tacked up and were off.

Today's ride was well worth putting off obligations for! While we definitely need work in the creating energy (at the walk) department - everything else was super. Zero steering issues, no scary spots in the arena, had some decent re-balancing half halts and Val was reaching into the contact. Trot work was the best yet. I barely used my dressage whip. My posture felt relaxed and natural. Our extensive bareback work has really helped my seat and leg, so I think I'm aiding more effectively. My trainer often reminds me that when I get it right, so will my horse. :)

Our progress lately has left me with the feeling that I'm going to wake up soon and realize I was just dreaming... I know intellectually that we're moving forward because we're working hard and focusing, but I guess the improvement in my confidence is hard for me to process. It feels so good. My trainer also often reminds me that riding isn't that hard - once you get the basics down, everything else is pretty easy... that my struggles have been of my own making... that I need to stay out of my own way. I believe this is finally starting to happen - I'm psyched.

And I absolutely cannot wait until my "real" arena with good footing and much more room is ready, because we're going to take off when we have the proper space that will allow us to do some sustained trot work and get fit. (Which means I really do need to attend to my to do list. Once my studio is ready I can get to my jewelry work which will help me pay for the new arena...)

Enter the sanctuary of the horse ever with honor and respect. Erik Herbermann

Clinic Notes: Day three and four

Monday afternoon. One of my goals for this clinic was to figure out how to accomplish the warm-up in a timely and efficient fashion, without relying on input from my trainer. We only work with her every few months, so we need to do this confidently on our own. Without spiraling down into a battle of wills or stalled out in one of the corners. Done. Addressing conquering our steering stickiness / leadership issues has made a world of difference.

We moved on to some gorgeous trot work, initially full arena on the rail, moving on to the quarterline and then school figures thrown in. Both directions (!) Everything felt smooth, workmanlike... best of all easy and FUN. We also worked in two point for a while to adjust my ankles and their lack of springiness. Let's just say it's been thirt- (cough, cough) years since I rode in two point. Oh - did I mention that this was done with another horse in the arena with us. A year ago I would have had a total (internal) melt down at the thought of having a lesson with another horse in the arena. A superlative ride. We have come a long way, and I just love my horse :)

Tuesday. I groomed / tacked up a horse for my trainer, then watched her ride for a while. Afterwords we switched off for a longing session. I rode Star, a very well built and powerful thoroughbred mare, with big gaits. Most of this session focused on my position, and how to use my driving aid / legs to encourage Star to carry herself. Another issue we worked on is my (bad) tendency to lead with my chest and get ahead of my horse. Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step as they say... We also did a bit of sitting trot work. It is very challenging to process all of the information that I get in my lessons, and when we do position work - changing so many elements at once throws me for a loop. It would be interesting to see how my afternoon ride on Val would be affected...


Later that afternoon. Another great warm-up, getting right to work, and again with company in the arena. My seat felt fantastic. Apparently I was able to incorporate some of the input I got during the longing session. Val really enjoyed the extra room he had to breathe since I was not pinching with my knees. It showed in his gaits.

At this point my trainer suggested I try some cantering. We decided it would be best to ask for the transition from two point, coming into a corner, and after a couple of aborted attempts we did canter. I was totally disorganized and frankly - extremely sore from the longing earlier. I elected not to try again, not wanting to open a can of worms with this new step we were taking, that would have to be resolved. I felt a bit like I was being a chicken, but honestly I wasn't sure I could count on my body to do what I wanted - we were getting on three hours of riding for the day. Also - it was dinner time and the other horses who weren't still at work were doing mad dashes, bucking up and down the fence lines. Val was focused and attentive considering the distractions. Instead we worked on transitions and turns on the forehand, ending on a good note. Another great ride :)


                              

In the Arena #31 - The only thing we have to fear...

I rode Val in the "new" arena on Sunday. A milestone. The not fenced arena surrounded by woods at the back of the property. The scary, scary woods. The arena that so far we're only ever grazed (sometimes nervously) in.

We worked in our "real" ring for about an hour... focusing on leg yields, circles and energy. Also breathing. In fact I did a bit of singing for Val. If his swiveling ears were any indication, he enjoyed my Sunday songs. I enjoyed how singing regulated my breath.  It was a very productive ride, and my seat felt great.

I had asked my friend to come to the barn and stand by for me when I made the switch to the other arena... thinking I'd be more confident with someone else there, but at the last minute she called to say she couldn't make it. I said f*#@ it and off we went. My plan was to mount and just stand, which would have been enough for me. However Val was falling asleep with his lip hanging down - no nervous blow up in the works - so we spent 10 or 15 minutes walking around in both directions. Success!

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When I brought Val home last fall, he was the mellowest, calmest horse. Very steady. Our first week together we rode through the woods and straight out to the beach. It was blowing 25 mph, he'd never seen the ocean before, yet he behaved beautifully.

Fast forward a few months. Due to my bad judgment, Val and I had a disastrous trail ride. I shouldn't have ridden that day at all... there were people hunting all around us in the woods and my companions were not supportive of or patient with us. Plus Val was high as a kite due to indiscriminate supplement use.

There was bolting - the others cantered off leaving us behind while we were fertilizing - then an emergency dismount - so not popular with Val. Things went further downhill, culminating in a sky high buck and me hitting the dirt. Hard. My insides felt disconnected. And I didn't have a helmet on. In the matter of a few minutes I had done serious damage to our relationship...

Ever since then,  I've been struggling with fear and confidence issues. And trying to earn Val's trust back. The difficult thing about fear is that it can create the thing you are afraid of. Kind of a which came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Also, you can't really pretend you aren't afraid.
   
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My goal is to gradually spend more time in the new arena, until we're working there exclusively. I also have plans to make our way off the property and down the road to the trail, incrementally, until we're back trail riding again. When I got Val, I wanted to spend as much time trail riding as riding in the arena, and eventually to trail ride solo to the beach. Our setbacks have been disappointing, but character building as well. That's the thing about horsemanship. If you stick with it, you must face up to your shortcomings. If you want to become a better horseman, you have to become a better human.